Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Ikea Syndrome





It all started with a good idea. Why pay for someone to build you a wardrobe when you can go get it at a warehouse, build it yourself and save some euros in the process? So there we were, screwing and hammering around, blissfully happy to be building our first furniture items with our own hands, almost as proud as a kid playing Lego.

It was a good concept that could be exported to other areas, right?

You wish.

I've spent all summer trapped in a sort of Ikea-ish nightmare. It's been a WTF moment after another. It all started with the hard head scratching of buying a Ryanair ticket, which is Byzantine to say the least ( how much do they weight? do I want insurance? am I paying with a credit card? will I carry oversize luggage? a bicycle? where do I leave? how many bags do I want to check in? why do I need to give all those details at least six hours before I go to the airport? what do they need the issue date of my passport for?). Another much better one was flying to Nice and finding out that I have to print the stickers for my suitcase myself on an automated machine, this time for Iberia --which is not, repeat, not, a low cost airline.Seriously far from it.

But the Best of Them All has been being sent to this sorry excuse of a student residence in Nice where not only they expected moi to clean the room before I leave it to the next unsuspecting student, but ALSO, and this is where it gets bizarre, the pillow (not, mind you, the pillow cover, but the pillow itself), AND the mattress cover (paying, bien sûr, for the laundry costs myself). And all of this, by the way, before 9.30 AM. Oh, and incidentally, the lady was not pleased with my cleaning so she decided to charge me 48 Euros for the cleaning I had already done, anyway.


And all of this while treating me as one of her employees (and believe me I feel terrible for her employees), and, on top of it, arguing that she was doing it to KEEP THE COSTS OF THE RESIDENCE DOWN!!!!!! (lie: there are cheaper residences in Nice, who actually hire professionals to do the cleaning). Humorously enough, she also mentioned that the only people that complained about this ingenious arrangement where Spanish, which also put her in the category of a racist biotch in my book, but never mind.


(Aside rant: The name of this lovely place is France Riviera (on Nice, Rue de France) and I would reccomend it with all my heart if you enjoy sleeping on a sofa bed with a mattress so old that is split in half, and sharing your neighborhood with the créme of Nice's prostitutes at night. And being yelled at for various things, e.g. making too much noise with your flipflops on the stairs, talking too loud or effing turning your lights on in your own room: "il faut économiser", she said, to the poor suffering soul).

But bear with me. The gist of this is, she made a huge effort to explain to me that she was treating me more condescendingly than any boss I've ever had (and heck I've been a waitress!), to KEEP THE COSTS OF THE RESIDENCE DOWN.
This philosophy, as you might have gathered from above, is spreading with the whole crisis spirit. With the excuse of making things cheaper, companies of all sorts are actually turning their customers into employees. You might have noticed how some supermarkets already have this nifty machines that allow you to work as a cashier for them (well, they give you a discount... oh, wait, no, they do not), or how hard it is to find someone to put gasoline on your car lately. I wouldn't be surprised if soon enough we'll find ourselves carrying our luggage to the plane or paying to use the capuccino machines at your corner coffee house.


The problem is, first, I can never be as good at doing all these things as a professional. Second, someone has probably lost his or her job because suddenly every customer is giving 10 minutes or their time to that company, and usually, and
that's the terrifying part, for free. Now think about all the money that those companies are saving on salaries, and all the time of your life you are giving them. Terrifying, huh? Well, I suggest we demand our employee discounts next time these guys ask us to do their work for them. Otherwise, my humble suggestion is 1) boycott 2) complaint and 3) do the 50s husband thing, i.e. mess it all up so badly that they give up on us, because we're too stupid.


(Related to my frustration are the article IKEA is as bad as Wal-Mart at Salon.com, and the book that inspires the article, Cheap, the High Cost of Discount Culture. They're more about why cheap is not necessarily better, and surely explain all this much more eloquently than I do)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Warning: downer.



I was there, at Loquillo's concert, last Sunday. The song is a version of a poem that has always been a favorite of mine, especially as you can see a fragment of it at the Universidad Complutense subway station. True enough, it's probably not the best thing to read at birthdays, but still great in a depressing kind of way...



NO VOLVERÉ A SER JOVEN

Que la vida iba en serio
uno lo empieza a comprender más tarde
-como todos los jóvenes, yo vine
a llevarme la vida por delante.

Dejar huella quería
y marcharme entre aplausos
-envejecer, morir, eran tan sólo
las dimensiones del teatro.

Pero ha pasado el tiempo
y la verdad desagradable asoma:
envejecer, morir,
es el único argumento de la obra.

-- Jaime Gil de Biedma.

(and here, a chance to use my translating wheels)

WON’T BE YOUNG ANYMORE

Life was in earnest –
one realizes that only later.
As with all the youngsters, I came
to take life by storm.

I wanted to leave my mark
and leave with an ovation
– to age, to die, were only
the dimensions of the theatre.

But time has gone by
and the ugly truth begins to show:
to age, to die,
is the only plot of the play.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

PEGGY, PEGGY!!!!

Yaaay!!!

Maybe I'll finally be able to speak about Margaret Atwood in Spain without getting blank stares... she's one the most important arts and literature prize Spain can give to a foreigner. Bonus: she'll probably come to get it. I don't think I'll do the crazy-fan thing and go yell at her in Oviedo, but hopefully she'll take a detour and come to Madrid ;)

MARGARET ATWOOD, PRINCE OF ASTURIAS AWARD LAUREATE FOR LETTERS

And, taking advantage of the hype, I leave you with a repost of one of my favorite clips of Margaret being herself... if you click on the video you can finish the interview on youtube...



STATEMENT BY MARGARET ATWOOD, AFTER BEING BESTOWED WITH THE 2008 PRINCE OF ASTURIAS AWARD FOR LETTERS
25-June-2008
"I am thrilled and honoured to have been awarded this highly important prize. The Prince of Asturias Awards are not only a great tribute to literature, the humanities, and the sciences, but also to the universal project of building a sane, human society".Margaret AtwoodToronto, 25th June 2008





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Saturday, June 14, 2008

You may think we got over Victorian times. Think again

Studying, studying, studying... I stumbled upon Wikipedia's transcript of Rudyard Kipling's The White Man's Burden, which I've always found a gem of obtuseness. What I did not expect is that there were, soon enough, anti-imperialist replies to the poem. So much for "he received the Nobel Prize because at the time people didn't know better". Apparently, some people did know better, just not the Nobel prize committee. What annoys me the most, is how damn familiar this whole frame of thinking is, even today, just substitute the "ports" and "roads" with, er, "democracy"...


The White Man's Burden (1899)

Take up the White Man's burden--
Send forth the best ye breed--
Go bind your sons to exile
To serve your captives' need;
To wait in heavy harness,
On fluttered folk and wild--
Your new-caught, sullen peoples,
Half-devil and half-child.

Take up the White Man's burden--
In patience to abide,
To veil the threat of terror
And check the show of pride;
By open speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain
To seek another's profit,
And work another's gain.

Take up the White Man's burden--
The savage wars of peace--
Fill full the mouth of Famine
And bid the sickness cease;
And when your goal is nearest
The end for others sought,
Watch sloth and heathen Folly
Bring all your hopes to naught.

Take up the White Man's burden--
No tawdry rule of kings,
But toil of serf and sweeper--
The tale of common things.
The ports ye shall not enter,
The roads ye shall not tread,
Go make them with your living,
And mark them with your dead.

Take up the White Man's burden--
And reap his old reward:
The blame of those ye better,
The hate of those ye guard--
The cry of hosts ye humour
(Ah, slowly!) toward the light
"Why brought he us from bondage,
Our loved Egyptian night?"

Take up the White Man's burden--
Ye dare not stoop to less--
Nor call too loud on Freedom
To cloak your weariness;
By all ye cry or whisper,
By all ye leave or do,
The silent, sullen peoples
Shall weigh your gods and you.

Take up the White Man's burden--
Have done with childish days--
The lightly proferred laurel,
The easy, ungrudged praise.
Comes now, to search your manhood
Through all the thankless years
Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom,
The judgment of your peers.

The White Man's Burden - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia




(With apologies to Rudyard KiplingTake up the White Man’s burden.)

Send forth your sturdy kin,
And load them down with Bibles
And cannon-balls and gin.
Throw in a few diseases
To spread the tropic climes,
For there the healthy niggers
Are quite behind the times.
And don’t forget the factories.
On those benighted shores
They have no cheerful iron mills,
Nor eke department stores.
They never work twelve hours a day
And live in strange content,
Altho they never have to pay
A single sou of rent.
Take up the White Man’s burden,
And teach the Philippines
What interest and taxes are
And what a mortgage means.
Give them electrocution chairs,
And prisons, too, galore,
And if they seem inclined to kick,
Then spill their heathen gore.
They need our labor question, too,
And politics and fraud—
We’ve made a pretty mess at home,
Let’s make a mess abroad.
And let us ever humbly pray
The Lord of Hosts may deign
To stir our feeble memories
Lest we forget—the Maine.
Take up the White’s Man’s burden.
To you who thus succeedIn civilizing savage hordes,
They owe a debt, indeed;
Concessions, pensions, salaries,
And privilege and right—
With outstretched hands you raised to bless
Grab everything in sight.
Take up the White Man’s burden
And if you write in verse,
Flatter your nation’s vices
And strive to make them worse.
Then learn that if with pious words
You ornament each phrase,
In a world of canting hypocrites
This kind of business pays.

Source: Ernest Crosby, “The Real White Man’s Burden,” Swords and Ploughshares (New York: Funk and Wagnalls Company, 1902), 32–35.
Crosby on Kipling: A Parody of "The White Man's Burden"

The Brown Man's Burden,
By Henry Labouchère

Truth (London); reprinted in Literary Digest 18 (Feb. 25, 1899).
Pile on the brown man's burden
To gratify your greed;
Go, clear away the "niggers"
Who progress would impede;
Be very stern, for truly
'Tis useless to be mild
With new-caught, sullen peoples,
Half devil and half child.
 
Pile on the brown man's burden;
And, if ye rouse his hate,
Meet his old-fashioned reasons
With Maxims up to date.
With shells and dumdum bullets
A hundred times made plain
The brown man's loss must ever
Imply the white man's gain.
 
Pile on the brown man's burden,
compel him to be free;
Let all your manifestoes
Reek with philanthropy.
And if with heathen folly
He dares your will dispute,
Then, in the name of freedom,
Don't hesitate to shoot.
 
Pile on the brown man's burden,
And if his cry be sore,
That surely need not irk you--
Ye've driven slaves before.
Seize on his ports and pastures,
The fields his people tread;
Go make from them your living,
And mark them with his dead.
 
Pile on the brown man's burden,
And through the world proclaim
That ye are Freedom's agent--
There's no more paying game!
And, should your own past history
Straight in your teeth be thrown,
Retort that independence
Is good for whites alone.
The Brown Man's Burden, by Henry Labouchere


Ps. Heart of Darkness was written exactly on the same year than Kipling's poem.
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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

When dystopia gets to real life, well...

... it ends on the humor pages of the New York Times. Kinda.

I just loved it...

Homage to Catalonia - Laugh Lines - Humor - New York Times Blog
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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Aimé Césaire, Martinique Poet and Politician, Dies at 94 - New York Times

After my walk of shame about not reading Clarke and Diaz's last novel, at  least I can say I have read and loved Césaire since I was a student of Caribbean poetry with Colin Nicholson at Edinburgh way back in 2000. I'm very grateful for Nicholson for putting him and other Caribbean poets on my way, and I will never forget the first time I eagerly struggled with Cahier d'un retour au pays natal in the bilingual French-English (my French sucked, my English wasn't great). I go back to that poem every now and then, and always find new things to enjoy.


Aimé Césaire, Martinique Poet and Politician, Dies at 94 - New York Times

Amazon.com: Notebook of a Return to the Native Land (Wesleyan Poetry): Aime Cesaire,Annette Smith,Clayton Eshleman: Books
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Another book I've been meaning to read...

... is  The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I'm reading close to nothing this year, so, unsurprisingly, this has not yet been... well... even bought.

I've already read Drown, Diaz's collection of short stories, and well, I wasn't exactly thrilled in spite of the good reviews, but I really like the concept between the novel -- a young man who wants to become the Dominican JRR Tolkien. Not to mention how close it gets to what my thesis is about. And now, Diaz gets the Pulitzer -- this goes straight to the summer reading list.


'This Dominican kid from New Jersey' wins a Pulitzer | News | guardian.co.uk Books
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Sunday, March 23, 2008

Everybody say OSCAR WILDE!!!!

...otherwise, VICTORIAN, VICTORIAN!!! Funny as Sebastian Horsley is all about that precisely, so I guess it all goes full circle.

Ah the US and its interesting "crimes"... (the amused bolds are all mine)

"I'd been planning the go the US for six months," he told the Guardian yesterday. "I had got to the airport in full dandy regalia - top hat, long velvet coat, velvet scarf. One concession to their Ivy League sensibilities was that I had taken off my nail polish. When I put my finger in the scanner, they took me aside and interrogated me for eight hours."

Horsley said he had a previous conviction in the US for possession of amphetamine sulphate but assumed it had expired. However, his book did not do him any favours with the immigration officers.

"They said ... they knew I had been a crack addict, a heroin addict and a prostitute," he said.

"The good news was that they'd read the book - but the bad news was they'd read the book, and I was deported for my notoriety and for being an alien convicted of a crime involving 'moral turpitude'."



Moral failure bars dandy from US | News | guardian.co.uk Books
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Monday, February 11, 2008

you know St. Valentine's Day has gone WAY too far when...

... it invades the Merriam Webster dictionary. This isborderline surreal. What have we done to deserve this?

Check for yourselves, for a limited period (I HOPE!!!)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

If Harry Potter ran General Electric.


True book title. So popular I've ran into its translated version at a bookstore today. Business advice from children's literature that doesn't take into account the laws of physics. This should be interesting.






A few questions-- Is there a limit to the dumbness of "leadership" books? Does anybody take this seriously? Is there a Saruman guide to nasty takeovers? The Picard handbook for diplomacy? Who took my lightsaber?

Sunday, January 6, 2008

what I'd rather be talking about on a Saturday night...

... intelligent conversation or at least intelligent bullshit... it's been soooo long....


Review: How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read by Pierre Bayard | By genre | Guardian Unlimited Books


Bayard's approach is Derridean: a focus on the relation between objects and the systems that support these. He perceives books themselves as a 'system', important only in so far as they are received within society: the gossip that they generate; the ideas that they spawn; the conflicts that they provoke. 'Relations among ideas are far more important than the ideas themselves,' he insists. Thus, it is only ever necessary to get a rough sense of what any particular book is about - and where to place it in the 'collective library'.

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