Showing posts with label neurotic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label neurotic. Show all posts

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Unreality TV

I love Susan Boyle. I love her in the way I love Ugly Betty in all her international versions, and, clearly, Hugo. Oh, and Spiderman. It's always nice to have the underdog suddenly getting karmic revenge and becoming the hero, for a day, for a minute or for three increasingly bad movies. The problem is, Susan is pretty real. She's a flesh and blood woman with a splendid voice, and since I heard her audition video for the first time something seemed slightly manufactured over there. I mean, how flabbergasted could the jury be when the camera has been following her around?
Well, apparently they had very good reason to follow her around, as there had been talent scouts looking for her for the program (they explain it better at Susan Boyle and Paul Potts: Not Quite Out of Nowhere - TIME). Well, good for her, and good for the program, but I just wish they had been just this bit honest about it and save us the "oh dear so surprised really" speeches, because, people, Cinderella stories depend on fairy godmothers and hard work.

Now, this was Susan in 1999. She deserved it big time, already, ten years ago:





Too often on television we are sent these messages that your life can change suddenly, and for the better, and we don't hear the stories of tough luck, frustration, dusting off and starting again. That's the fun fact of reality TV --it seems so indistinguishable from reality itself that unless we keep a cynical eye open at all times we overlook the constructions, the editings, the half lies and the make up. Or did you think that dress suddenly happened on poor Susan? Two scenarios: someone told her to wear it, or nobody told her not to wear it. In any case, my guess is people in the public would have laughed a lot less if she had come in different clothes. And yep, that's what I call manufacturing.

Serendipically, today I've also encountered the news that Elle Magazine, French edition, has decided to run an issue on stars without make-up, or photoshop , i.e. to Susan Boyle them a little.

...but just a little. Real beauté comes

with an electric fan and tweezers.

And damn good genes.

This is something that happens quite regularly on glossy magazines, like, once in approximately every five years. The lesson seems to be something like "hey, you can be beautiful without make up, but not so much, so, hey, feel good about yourself, but duh, you better get some products, it's totally worth it. Oh, and did you notice how pro-women issues we are?." Well, thanks. No, really. These issues have to appear every five years or so, so that the new generations stop and think for a second about something schools don't usually make them think about, i.e. reality in the media is ma-nu-fac-tu-red. Make up and hairdressers are nice, photoshop and surgery, ok, not so much, but in any case I do hope that Susan gets some in the near future because, damnit, she deserves it (certainly that's what google seems to be implying by having "makeover" featuring so prominently when you search her name in it). But please don't come and tell me later she woke up one morning and her hair was suddenly longer and straighter please.

And the best of luck, really, on the media jungle she's just gotten into.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

a short story of pop'era

... it started off fine with this...



the three tenors popularize the beautiful Nessun Dorma before the 1990 FIFA World Cup
(the idea was to make opera available to a larger audience, and it did. Many arias are known thanks to these three guys)

... went on with this, still making musical sense...



Freddie Mercury and Monserrat Caballe sing Barcelona for the 1992 Olympics

(Freddie has proven he knows about opera since Bohemian Rapsody and knows how to not take himself too seriously. This is why it works)

... started going wrong with this...


Andrea Bocelli gets a career by squandering a tenor voice on corny pop songs , e.g. Vivo por Ella

(note how Marta Sanchez, an otherwise competent pop performer, suffers greatly to catch up with Bocelli. This is what happens when you get opera trained people to work/compete with pop singers and they both take it seriously)


... quickly lead to this...



Il Divo. I guess it's better than being unemployed.

(I need someone to sit down and explain this video to me. Slowly. )

... degenerated into this...



The Ten Tenors. Bee Gee Medley?????!!!!! WTF?????!!!!!

(no, it is NOT a parody. Why you need to spend all your childhood and youth studying classical music to end up performing a choreographed Bee Gees medley with 9 other guys is a mystery to me)

... and finally, we got this...


...
The Three Priests. The CD your grandma will get this Christmas.
(They seem to be taking it the religious way, so they could pull it off after all. And they are not trying to be sexy either. So I think I'll give them the benefit of the doubt)

The frightening thought is... what will we get next year??!!

... and they say the internet is killing music. Ha.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Warning: downer.



I was there, at Loquillo's concert, last Sunday. The song is a version of a poem that has always been a favorite of mine, especially as you can see a fragment of it at the Universidad Complutense subway station. True enough, it's probably not the best thing to read at birthdays, but still great in a depressing kind of way...



NO VOLVERÉ A SER JOVEN

Que la vida iba en serio
uno lo empieza a comprender más tarde
-como todos los jóvenes, yo vine
a llevarme la vida por delante.

Dejar huella quería
y marcharme entre aplausos
-envejecer, morir, eran tan sólo
las dimensiones del teatro.

Pero ha pasado el tiempo
y la verdad desagradable asoma:
envejecer, morir,
es el único argumento de la obra.

-- Jaime Gil de Biedma.

(and here, a chance to use my translating wheels)

WON’T BE YOUNG ANYMORE

Life was in earnest –
one realizes that only later.
As with all the youngsters, I came
to take life by storm.

I wanted to leave my mark
and leave with an ovation
– to age, to die, were only
the dimensions of the theatre.

But time has gone by
and the ugly truth begins to show:
to age, to die,
is the only plot of the play.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

you know you live in science-fictional times... (or at least kafkaesque) when...

Ok so this is how teaching positions in the public system get handed out.

First you do this exam that consists of two parts, one of theoretical knowledge and the other of so-called "practical" fake-a-lesson knowledge.

After that, they check all sorts of elements in your CV that they believe are relevant, e.g. work experience, random courses, whether you have been an elite sportsman (true) or can speak Chinese and prove it (true).

All this is minced and blended and you get a mark with four decimals.

With that mark on their hands, they put you on a list and round you up in this high school auditorium at 10 am and keep you there for 7 hours while each of the people on the list choose from different positions neatly arranged in a similar numbered list.

Same again for next year...

... and the next...
... and the next...

... and the next...
... and the next...



...sigh. I'm tired...







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Monday, June 16, 2008

the defeatist idea chain

particularly dedicated to those who can't make out my facebook updates...

  •  there's no way i can memorize all this c%·&
  •  and, anyway, i'm sure to get one of the topics i'm not memorizing at the exam
  •  besides, no matter what i do, it won't make a difference because i don't have enough experience points to get above the competition
  •  furthermore, i can't memorize all this c%·&
  • and, anyway, i'm sure to get one of the topics i'm not memorizing at the exam
  •  besides, no matter what i do, it won't make a difference because i don't have enough experience points to get above the competition
  •  furthermore, i can't memorize all this c%·&
  • and, anyway, i'm sure to get one of the topics i'm not memorizing at the exam
  •  besides, no matter what i do, it won't make a difference because i don't have enough experience points to get above the competition
  •  furthermore, i can't memorize all this c%·&
  • and, anyway, i'm sure to get one of the topics i'm not memorizing at the exam
  •  besides, no matter what i do, it won't make a difference because i don't have enough experience points to get above the competition
  •  furthermore, i can't memorize all this c%·&
  • and, anyway, i'm sure to get one of the topics i'm not memorizing at the exam
  •  besides, no matter what i do, it won't make a difference because i don't have enough experience points to get above the competition
  •  furthermore, i can't memorize all this c%·&
  • ... and so on, and so forth, until Friday (and beyond...?)
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Monday, April 21, 2008

I HATE ANTS!!!!


One of the "advantages" of living on a ground floor next to the mountains is the ability to enjoy a wide variety of wildlife. As in spiders, flies, and more recently, Ants. I've sprayed ant killer and applied salt liberally in every bloody corner of my not terribly large appartment/studio/matchbox, but to no avail. And yes, I clean. A lot. And yes, I throw the garbage out, thankverymuch.

Today has been particularly enjoyable as I found the lovely little creatures dancing near the place where I prepare the food. I've followed them right to their apparent source (right behind the drier), sprayed more useless ant-kliller, mopped, hoovered and put the drier back there.

Fortunately my mum has remembered there are some ant trap that apparently sends poison to every corner of the ant hole and kills the Queen. So I've proceeded to the shopping mall to acquire it. Well, that and a cartload of a dozen other things I needed.

And so, after an hour and a half of intensive grocery shopping I come back home and the internet is not working. I've checked all the cables (my god, have the ants eaten them this weekend?), and they were fine. I've unplugged, reseted the computer, ASKED VISTA TO RUN A DIAGNOSIS (not that I hoped it would help), and finally, figured out the problem. The phone connection is also behind the drier. In my zeal to get rid of the beasties I've disconnected the phone line.

I hate to think of the poor little ants going back to their holes and killing their queen, but then again... no I don't. I'm not a Buddhist and the $%& things almost ruin my internet connection. GO TRAP!!!

PS. In other news, it seems to have snowed in the mountains this weekend. That and the squall clouds have made them look just gorgeous. See, it's not all bad Up North.

PS2. Everything itches now. I know it's psychological, but, ugh.
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Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Great Pretender

Two of my friends have decided to live together after just a year of dating and have adopted three cats. Three.
I can't even think of adopting a cat. I don't even know where I'll be living next year.
Going back home, the radio comes up with This.

Freddie Mercury – The Great Pretender – Música en Last.fm


Ugh.
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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Mhm. Someone should import this to Madrid

   


They drive me nuts. Especially the ones with expensive cars. One of these days, I'll go to cafepress.com and get a sticker that says "you bought an Audi, not the F$·%" road"

Just wait and see.
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Thursday, March 6, 2008

I want to shoot bureaucrats, badly.

It turns out that for my examinations this June, I need to prove the Board of Education that I've been working for the Board of Education for a "·$%"% 1 year, 2 months and 14 days. And to do so, I need to go to FOUR DIFFERENT PLACES, all conveniently located around 40 kilometers away from each other, and demand for such proof at hours when I'm supposed to be, well WORKING.

This is Orwell at its finest.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Branching out

I've decided to open yet another blog, just to keep the English posts separated from the Spanish posts. I guess it makes sense. Kinda.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The teaching profession, an allegory


- How was your day in high school?
- Complex.
Ahhhh... I've said it before, and I'll say it again... gotta love Forges....
Today, I've had a conversation with a student that considers I deserve better than to be a high school teacher. But as I sincerely told her, you can really love this job as long as you keep your sadomasochistic streak. And then I run into this...

Ps. Minutes after posting this, Windows Media has randomly selected the MP3 version of this. Heck I didn't even remeber I had an MP3 version of it.

Syn-chro-ni-ci-ty!!! Syn-chro-ni-ci-ty!!! Syn-chro-ni-ci-ty!!!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

no, 2007 didn't really suck volumes

Around this time last year I hit rock bottom. A number of things that had been going badly with my life went, well, worse. So I guess my perception of last year has been tainted by what happened in December 2006 and the awful Christmas that ensued; and how hard it's been to recover emotionally from that. But looking back from today's perspective, I realize that in the process of recovery I've gained a great deal of experience, insight, perspective and a good bunch of new people in my life that I should be grateful for. Not to mention that yes, as the quiz below made me realize, I'm healthier, wealthier and yep, wiser.

So.





You Had a Fantastic Year!



Compared to most years, last year was definitely great.

Overall, you're living a much better life than you were twelve months ago.

And nothing is a better mark of a good year.

Here's to hoping next year is even better!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Back from Amsterdam


... with a full New Year and a clearer head. I've been feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm not very sure exactly why. I guess it has to do with 2007 sucking volumes . I guess it also had to do with second-hand cannabis smoke and beautiful Dutch boys running around. But I digress.

I also found a way to work the idea for a story I had in my head into a story. I might even, finally, put something to writing. Which is very exciting.

Monday, December 24, 2007

aand another wee experiment ...

... yes I can put this blog's feeds on Facebook... god I'm SO cheating on Tom.